George Davison (Rob Dean)
A never ending church steeple of a man, George towers above all the others in many respects. He Hoovers up all the fantasy fiction he can get his hands on, never shies away from throwing himself into absurd situations, oh and he can even play the glockenspiel. Claims to be a wizard of the highest order, he has the dubious ability of being able to see the world just that little bit askew, and can wander through this life without ever caring how he looks or what the normal people think of him. A downer of real ales, and an occasional wearer of pants, he loves to dance and couldnt get any more laid back if he tried. Which he wouldn't. Because he's too laid back.
Alex McCoy (Tom Critch)
If Alex were a colour he'd be orange; daft, funny to look at, and just that little bit stupid. A veracious abuser of cheap red wine and even cheaper pornography, he's like a pair of overactive hands, never sitting still and constantly fiddling. With himself most of the time. A lover of women and a fan of the odd flutter, he has absolutely no idea how the world works and yet is happy to sit back and grin at it. Capable of charm, sincerity and wisdom, he prefers to sod all that bollocks and go down the pub to try and chat someone up. Enjoys the company of the gang, the madness of their shared existence, and is even capable of putting up with Claptons insults.
Jane Tennant (Rachel Mason)
The only female in the group, at least from an anatomical standpoint, and the only one who is totally incapable of prolonged movement. Her armchair is her castle, and she intends to spend as much time in it as possible regardless of what anyone thinks. The youngest of the bunch, forever clad in her favourite dressing gown, she's a girl who doesn't see the point in exercise or even getting up if theres something decent on TV. Jeremy Kyle will never go without a viewer as long as Jane's around, with a packet of crisps in one hand and half empty bottle of Lambrini in the other. The term couch potato doesn't even begin to cover it. At least potatoes grow. Try couch rock.
Clapton Pertwee (Dean Mason)
If the family of Student Muffin was divided up into body parts, Clapton would definitely be the mouth piece. With wits of pure steel and a venom soaked tongue to match, Clapton is a man whose talents lie in insults. He can strip a man bare with a sentence, and is more than capable of ripping the world to pieces with just a few words. Frustrated with living in a shithole and sharing it with a bunch of cocksocks, he spends his days barely holding onto his next punch line and attempting to keep whats left of his patience. Not against a glass of Port or a large Crème Du Menthe now and again, he does seem to enjoy the groups social activities. If only to watch fellow boozer Max make a complete tit of himself.
Max Baker (Rob Dormer)
Ahh Max. Where to begin? Well, probably at the bottom of a Jagermeister bottle. A loveable rogue who loves a tipple, Max is a little like a dear when it's firs born, a body made up of stumbling unsure legs. Periodically intoxicated and annually hung-over, he takes his student lifestyle by the short and curlies and gives it hell. Also giving his liver a stern battering in the process. He will literally drink anything, and that goes for bodily fluids also. A good friend and an honest man, unfortunately he is never likely to be able to finish a sentence without slurring at least four words. Constantly undermined by Clapton, and looked after by the rest of the gang, he'll be the first in the bar and the first on the floor.
